Because 'Murica

The land of the brave and the free.  The land of consumption and gluttony.  The land of the red, white and blue, and justice for all (well for some people at least).  The land of Martin Luther King and Honey Boo Boo.  The land of Rosa Parks and the KKK.  The land of the redneck and the Amish.  The land that has legalised the recreational use of marijuana in four states, same-sex marriages in 37 states but has a state law in Illinois which dictates that “a man’s female companion shall call him “master” while out on a date”. 

Because ‘Murica.

A place where football doesn't mean football, where tomato sauce is called ketchup and where supersize is the new medium.  A place where 100 acres of pizza is served every flipping day, and 7% of the population do not bathe.  Research has been conducted which shows that it would take 4 planet Earths to sustain the current consumption levels of the United States.

Because ‘Murica.

In Maryland it is illegal to take a lion to the movies, and in North Carolina it is illegal to hold more than two bingo sessions per week exceeding 5 hours per session.  You know how dodge those bingo grannies can get!  And should you end up in Oklahoma, you will be arrested on the spot if you get caught with a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7pm.

Because ‘Murica.

In America they celebrate Thanksgiving by eating a turkey and marshmallow-topped sweet potatoes.  They have no actual language of their own, speaking only ‘Murican.

They eat FRIED BUTTER. I shit you not.

One of the most fascinating things about Americans is their complete ignorance regarding anything other than their own country.  Of course, South Africa is quite the mysterious savage land.  Being asked whether South Africa is the capital of Africa, whether we ride lions and elephants, and whether we have tarred roads, are commonplace.  (Having said that, with the amount of potholes we have, this may be a valid question). “Do you speak African”, they enquire.  Eish wena.

But when all is said and done, America has given us many many great things, for which we should be thankful. Where would we be, after all, without the incredible people of Walmart to make us feel fantastic about our own country?

But that is just my opinion.